SOS (Save Our Spankings)

Found this image while searching Google Images for pictures of life preservers,

as I thought the idea of spanking as a life preserver(especially in regards

to my dream and my bad days) was apropos. This image is a bit odd,

which is what I liked about it, albeit non-spanking-related.

It came from a site about French immersion.

Naturally, I'll start off with a decscription of yet another caning dream. This one I had last week and was far less tittillating than the last one. In it, Mr. W and I were on a square boat - more of a motorized raft with railings, really. I was on my hands and knees in the center of the boat while Mr. W tried to simultaneously cane me and keep his balance, as we were out on the ocean and choppy waves were making the endeavor rather difficult. Somehow, we both knew that we were safer on the boat if we kept up the disciplinary antics than if we were to stop. I have a slight memory of an explanation involving equilibrium, but dream physics rarely translate past sleep.

After the boat had landed safely, I sat with my mom and tried to explain why I like spanking and all it entails. The best way I could explain why I like what I like was, "It makes me feel safe."

This was a revelation when I woke up. It's true! I think there is a direct correlation between my state of my mind when playing and the act itself. For example, no one other than Mr. W has caned me because no one other than Mr. W has been worthy of the trust I must have in someone to play at that degree of intensity, so there is already a built-in element of safety.

We also never play if he is stressed or having a bad day. As much as I miss it, especially as we've both had our share of bad and/or stressful days lately, it does mean that when we do play, we're in an emotional and mental space that means we can push and explore without fear. Even if I'm a little off and in need of a more therapeutic spanking, it means he can deliver what I need to rebalance myself because he's fully in charge of both his actions and his psyche. When we play, I am safe, so my subconscious has learned that if I am in the position of being spanked, I am also being protected.

No wonder it's something I crave so much when I'm having a bad day! Unfortunately, we have had too many mutually bad days recently. It's come to my attention that I've been ignoring myself, and that may be contributing to my own bad days. I haven't been reading, writing, pampering myself, reading other blogs, writing with other spankophiles - I haven't even followed back new Twitter followers or read my Fetlife messages! I am a bad blog personality right now, and a bad version of myself for ignoring the very things that make me who I am. I'm hoping that if I start paying attention to myself, the things I enjoy will come back to me.

So, things to do this week:

1. Take a long bubble bath with a book of spanking erotica and remember the importance of "me time." (Note to self: do not include puppy in this plan. Also, no pasta.) Paint toenails after bubble bath.

2. Read a book. Read it at 1:30 in the morning when the puppy wakes up. Read it under the desk at work. Just read! I've been carrying around A.S. Byatt's "The Biographer's Tale." Begin there.

3. Write 1000 words by midnight Saturday. Make 'em sexy, make 'em silly, just sit down and write.

4. Visit blogs of friends. Comment. Remember to be in the world.

5. Reply to emails. Follow fetish folks on Twitter. Reply to Fetlife messages and requests.

6. Get spanked! Nothing crazy, nothing exhausting, since it's been a while. Just play. Sexy, pink cheeked play. Please, Universe, even if my toes are left unpainted and I don't get through two chapters of a book, please make sure my bottom is spanked this week!

7. Lather, rinse, and, oh yeah, repeat.