Wednesday, November 22, 2017

The Wisdom of the Octopus

the octopus in his glass cage hides in the corner,
clinging to shadows, and tries not to feel

the pummeling of small hands on the side of his house
and the eyes seeking him, begging him
to bare himself, to expand himself -

to be the version they know from documentaries
and library books about creatures of the deep but

that octopus does not live here in this tank
by this concrete coral reef. it cannot live here.

in the midnight hours he practices the art of escape.
one day, he will slide over glass down grates
through pipes and finally to swell into his ocean’s waves:

he is renewed as he propels himself though her currents,
diving deeply. she runs every drop of herself
over him in celebration of his return.

the rippling suction of his every arm pulses
against her, through her, within her in longing to grasp –
but it is she who holds him.

as he settles into the cloak of her depths he disappears,
his freedom found in the opaque darkness of his home.

~Abby Williams, copyright 2017

About the Poem: I couldn't get this photo out of my head. I intended to write a poem that simply sexualized the octopus and imagined the shared sensations between it and the model. Instead, it became a metaphor for wanting to be the comfort and safety for Mr. W when he's having a rough day and feels trapped at work. I hope he always thinks of his place in my arms as both his freedom and his home. There's also an element of encouragement about breaking away from who we are expected to be, about knowing that acting the part isn't a way to truly live.

Photo: Anna and Barney, Untitled. Appears on page 73 of Hot Cheeks edited by Martin Sigrist, Edition Skylight, 2003

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

A Little (a Lot) About Me

While reading Love our Lurkers posts, I thought about my future lurkers, now that I am committed to being back. I realized that I pretty much picked up where I left off, so unless you read me way back when, it might be hard for new readers to get to know me. I was especially inspired by Still LOL Days and Our Beginning over at Fondles' blog because as a new reader it was a great introduction. I'd like to do something similar for you, current readers and potential future lurkers. So here we go.


I've always been fascinated by spanking, all the way back to being five or six years old and asking my friends to tell me about their punishments. My parents didn't spank - in fact, they didn't punish at all. I was expected to manage myself and if I failed to do so, I was told "I'm sure you're punishing yourself enough," as if I was just expected to carry the weight and guilt of my mistakes. Is it any surprise I love being turned over Mr. W's knee now? It's such a relief to just let go.


That being said, we call spanking "playing" and though he has always been my top and I have always been his bottom, he doesn't punish me for real misdeeds. Mr. W has held the same lifelong fascination that I have and we both enjoy the sensual and sexual elements of spanking and all that goes with it - the authority and submission, the implements, the positions, and yes, the punishments. I am his young lady and he is my Sir, and when we are in these roles, he can make up any misdeed he wants to punish me for, and anything goes. I've been "punished" for everything from being so late that he forgot to wear a watch to being an apple thief.

How We Met and How We Got Here

We met working at the Barnes & Noble in Calabasas, CA in late winter of 2003, both of us then in our mid-twenties. We'd confessed our spanking fetishes in the Customer Service booth of the bookstore and had been obsessed with one another ever since - but I had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend. Then they both broke up with us in the same week - and one of the reasons mine broke up with me was my friendship with Mr. W. We spent the summer hanging out together, madly in love but neither of us able to be in a relationship. This is how it came to be that he caned me before he kissed me. We slept side by side, he bared my bottom. Then in the fall he moved to Oregon and I stayed behind.

Two years later, he came back to California, only to announce he was moving back to Oregon. However, we couldn't see each other because the guy I now lived with had worked in that same B&N with us, and was now my boyfriend. He'd been jealous of Mr. W back during that first summer and our relationship was on rocky footing and I was scared of what would or wouldn't happen next. So I told Mr. W I couldn't see him before he left again - and then, while my boyfriend went camping, I invited him to Disney Land, where we spent an amazing day and kissed for our first time under the fireworks while, I swear to goodness, "When You Wish Upon A Star" was playing. When my boyfriend got back from camping two days later, he took me to a park and - you guessed it - broke up with me. He thought I might want to move to Oregon with Mr. W.

Two years after that, I became Mrs. W. A month after getting married, I became Abby. I started this blog as a wedding gift. He had just discovered spanking blogs and had shared them with me, and I knew from the moment I realized what they were that I wanted to write one too. It feels both like Mr. W and I were always destined for each other, and destined to bring our love of spanking to the world.

Did You Really Make Spanking Videos?

Yes, we really did. In 2008 and 2009, we decided that the blog was going well and both of us had always had a secret desire to make a spanking video, so we made one. Then we made more. I called the series Naughty Abby, and for a time I even owned and sold video downloads there. I've made them available on Clips4Sale and there's a link in the sidebar if you're curious - please note, they control the prices but even though they're SD, I stand by these videos. We worked really hard on them. Mr. W did an amazing job of editing two video and audio feeds into one film, and I did my best job of putting my bum out there for all to enjoy. I didn't know how to feel about these videos for a few years, but I'm proud of them now.

My Disappearances

I have been living with major depression for most of my life. It got really bad five or six years ago, and though I was seeing a doctor and trying to find the right anti-depressant, I was also ruining my chances of finding the right medication by self-medicating. That is, I was drinking more, then more, and then finally all the time. Then I'd quit and try to pull myself together and get back to writing and living and caring. Then one day I'd start again. It cycled like this for years, medications and doctors and periods of sobriety and even a five day stay in a hospital for mental health so that I could medically detox and get started on a recovery program. There was absolutely no spanking at the mental institute and that makes this paragraph all the more depressing, doesn't it? The point is, I wasn't writing because I couldn't write. We weren't playing because it was unsafe. So I disappeared.

The happy ending to this story is that I am one year and three months sober. I am on the right medication and my heart doesn't always feel broken. Mr. W and I are stronger and better than ever, all the way down to our orgasms, no joke. I don't have a lot of sexy stories from the time I was away, but now that I'm back writing, that means we're back to playing, which means I get to tell the world the dirty details, because I really do love writing about spanking.

What's Next

I created an e-book of my favorite posts from this blog, but I haven't published it yet because I am an absolute chicken. I went through the whole Amazon Kindle process and everything. I just want to give you something perfect, and I'm terrified it isn't perfect.

I want to write a collection of erotic poetry about butts, perhaps inspired by artwork, namely photos of bottoms, both spanked and unspanked.

I have fiction to write. I have so many story beginnings, it's time I flesh them out and give you a spanking heroine who isn't me. Nah, she'll probably still be me in disguise.

We're also working on a small business venture. More to come on that!

So that's the general scoop. I am happy to answer questions, even about the more sensitive subjects, as long as they are respectful. I am also open to email at If you're going through anything, maybe I can help, or at least be someone to listen. And thanks for listening to me!

Saturday, November 18, 2017

e[lust] #100

Hi! I've been sick this week. While I wait to be struck by inspiration or a feisty spanking implement instead of germs, this is the perfect time to present the newest edition of e[lust], a collection of recent posts by sex bloggers - and I am so happy to be included! It's not genre specific, so it's nice to get a variety of morsels to tempt one's erotic palate. Enjoy and please come back soon (or stick around and explore)!
xoxo Abby

 Photo courtesy of Wriggly Kitty

Welcome to Elust 100-

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #101 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

He’s Out of My League
Pink Hair, Don't Care!
I’m a feminist but...

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Pain Sluts and Brain Squirrels
His Car Keys

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~


Writing About Writing

Why Financial Disclosures Matter on Your Blog

Erotic Fiction

An American Werewolf in London
The Spider and the Fly

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Over exposed?

Erotic Non-Fiction

Mirror Image
Return to Position, Part 1 - This one is by me!
One Present Moment
Edgy Morning
The Date-Aversary Continues
The Smell, Taste and Love of Chocolate.



Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Asking can be sexy too!
Soaring in Space
Age Play
Stroke of luck

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Adult Content on Patreon
Censorship on Share our Shit Saturday
#SSoS Sharing for the Win

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

#iTalkSex Why I Talk Sex
Radical Acceptance In Relationships
So... ghosting is an acceptable thing now
What giving a collar means to me


Reflections on us and the blog

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Time for a Spanking

When I first started blogging, I was as much trying to understand my love of spanking as I was trying to share it. "Why do I like this?" I would ask myself. I didn't need to understand the fetish or what anyone else liked - it was all about me.

In one of my first posts, The Weight of the World, I wrote about spankings as a reset button, a way to let go of the things that were stressing me out so I could carry on:

And when I do break, when I do begin to weep silent slow tears, then sob, when I can't hold back a cry with every stroke, when I know I've built up to it, have earned it, have struggled through every part of my mind and have released it all, I can let go. Every pain throughout the day is gone. Every familial agony and workplace drama is released in the whoosh of his chosen implement. Swish. I pay every bill in full.Crack. I am beautiful and striped and proud. Then, slice, I'm only a little girl. I'm only a little girl. With each stroke, this is all I know now. I collapse into him afterwards, this little girl fully punished, released of all her sins and the sins of those around her, and he holds me, curls around me, gently, whispering how proud he is of me. My hips begin to rise and writhe, pressing back against him even with the pain, and I am a woman, ready to carry the weight of the world once again.

Released of all her sins and the sins of those around her. Wow. I was not kidding about feeling like I carried the weight of the world.

I've long since let go of the idea that I am being personally punished during a spanking. It's sexy in fantasy, but we do not punish in our home. We play, even if we're playing at punishment. I don't list off real or imagined wrong-doings in my mind with each stroke. So besides mutual sexual pleasure with Mr. W, what do I get from a spanking now, if not temporary release from all the world's sins?

Making time for a spanking is making time for and about us. We get attention. Connection. We are fully focused upon one another. The space is set - door closed, implements laid out, clothes removed. The air is quiet, heavy with breath and anticipation but there is no music, no TV, no buzzing or beeping of phones. There is no one and nothing but us and the spanking, which in itself is an extension of us. We give it and each other our everything.

Spanking is perhaps one of the more zen sexual activities - you're in the moment, completely immersed. The top is aware of the bottom's physical and mental state, guiding the experience, ensuring both safety and satisfaction. The bottom is vulnerable but not a victim, consensual but not complacent. You don't just give or receive - together, two individuals become one spanking.

In the rush of daily life, there is traffic and work and then more traffic, groceries and pet supplies and pharmacies, dishes and carpets and yard work. After the must-do work of life, I still try to find time for the gym, to write, or to take a nice bath with epsom salts, because I am tired and thanks to the gym, I am always sore, and not in the fun bright-pink bottomed way. For Mr. W, after a day spent working with energy vampires, he still tries to find time to play his guitars, to work on his leather craft, or to just find a small spot of inner peace so that the things he really wants to do are possible.

Spanking can be exhausting for both partners, if you really give it your all and allow it to overcome your physical, emotional, and mental faculties. For a couple both trying to live their best lives as well as recover from the lives they've already lived up to this point, it can be daunting to even consider taking whatever ounce of strength you have left for the day and invest it in something that may leave you both unable to do much past snuggle and watch TV for the rest of the night. But that's the best kind of spanking! Pardon the pun, but I don't want a half-assed spanking. I want a full-assed, exhausting, arousing, three orgasms followed by dinner in bed kind of spanking.

As much as we wish the world was different, it can't be time for a spanking all the time. But when we do take the time, we give it and each other everything we have. There is nothing outside ourselves. No weight of the world, because there is no world. Just us. Just spanking. Just who we really are, and who we are together.

Image Source: Casemiro Arts - Peter Reiss on Society6. I just discovered both him and Society6 today while searching Google Images for "spanking clocks" for this post. Has a number of other art pieces also featuring the female bottom. On this one, "Fitness Time," I loved the curl of her left toes. I'm a toe-curler too. 

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Sunday Exposure

Our cabinet in early morning light, Sunday November 5, 2017

One of my better selfies, November 5, 2017

Wednesday, November 1, 2017


This name is a phantom more solid than my self. It appears; I fade to let it speak. It sings; eyes closed, I sway, enraptured.

Not “I” or “We” but “Abby’s back.”

A haunting returned –  let me be possessed.