Wow, My Tush Looks Amazing

Advertisement for Muscle Milk, found in Self magazine.

Sometimes, you see an ad for something that is just good to be true. In this case, the part that was too good to be true was the packaging itself. As soon as I flipped to this ad in Self Magazine, I was already imagining having to run down to GNC just to purchase a bottle of chocolate milk that advertises the fabulousness of my own backside. "Look, everyone!" I could shout to the mall after making my purchase. "Doesn't my tush look AMAZING?!?!" I'd hold the bottle up as proof. At best, if any Portlanders I know from Fetlife or Twitter were at the mall at the time, they'd hear my cry and have a chance to say hello. At worst, I'd be asked to leave the mall, though hopefully it would be due to my yelling and not because a security guard disagreed with my proclamation.

Sadly, I checked the Muscle Milk website, and the actual words "Wow, my tush looks amazing" do not appear on the bottle itself. Well, that's a sale lost right there. I had envisioned Muscle Milk becoming the spanko's drink of choice, and it would be a way of identifying one another. Bottoms would carry the bottle and tops could approach them and say, "Why yes it does! But I could make it look a whole lot better." Super spanko code. But alas, it is not to be.

Now I'm wondering what other vanilla (or, as in this case, chocolate) products use slogans that could be appropriated by us fetish folk. Anything clever come to mind?