Jeal-ass-y

I've just realized that I've seen the naked bits of far too many girls lately. Good chance, if you're reading this, you have too. It's not that I'm about to diatribe about naked girls in this favored genre. If I'm seeing so many of them, I obviously don't have an actual problem with them. It's just--well, it's Christmastime. Somebody buy these poor girls some panties.

Seriously though, I think my bottom is jealous. How often I think to myself on a random Tuesday, as I'm adding up numbers for general ledger accounts, Gosh, I wish I could just get beaten for a living. Since that's not an option, I've tried writing spanking fiction recently, but there is too much of the Would-Be-Great-American-Novelist in me. I start giving what should be a page-long scene a full novel-sized scenario and I realize that if I'm going to have my way, I will have to start a whole new genre of mainstream spanking fiction. I can't draw, so artwork is off the option list. So, no spanking as a livelihood for me. My only option is to make the most of it at home.

My computer is obviously making the most of it. More so than I am, I think. Its bookmarks and history files are literally clogged with naked bottoms. I know the computer spends far more time with naked bottoms than we get to spend with mine. Hence, my ass wishes it was on the computer.

I realize this is an absurdity in and of itself, as my ass is on the computer. Right here and now, not to mention in the archives. No ass, no blog. But it's not the same. If it was my livelihood, I would have to give it the attention it deserves. Instead, I've spent a month away from this blog, which only goes to show that it was a month before I had a spanking to inspire me. What kind of girl have I become that I complain when I can sit down comfortably?

I tried giving my own bottom attention by purchasing it new attire. Victoria's Secret has an entertaining pair of red panties in their Pink line with the words "Gimme More Pink" across the backside. Even my underwear now demands a spanking! I tried gussying it up in lacy Bel Nientes. It still demands more. I tried giving it entertainment--it turns out my arse is really terrible at watching movies and wants to fast-forward through the bits with the talking. It's lucky that Merchant & Ivory never made spanking films--I'd never get a chance to appreciate the costumes and clipped accents.

So what's a girl to do? Besides run away to Scotland? I really do love and appreciate many of the girls out there who go through a great deal to get onto hard drives like ours. After all, I know I'm getting Niki Flynn's Dancing with Werewolves for Christmas, and I'm thinking of asking for the paddle named after Amy Hunter for my birthday. But, even if it was only within the confines of my own house, I wish I could take their place.